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Where I Find God!


The Lord has brought me through a lot of ups and downs recently. Questions arise in my life. Questions that I bring to the Lord. Will I have my own family? Will I ever get another girl in my life that can top the last one i had? Will I get married? Will I be successful in my life? Will I be make enough money to be able to be a blessing, and take care of my family financially, and spiritually. but mainly, the question of why I've been single for a long time. Have you forsaken me God. or have I been put on the backburner? What is my legacy that I want to leave in this world. How will my children, and my childrens children remember me by? All very Valid and Deep as heck questions. but it's funny how the Lord responds. He's a gentleman, so he won't interupt you, He allows us to cast our cares upon him. (1 peter 5:7). This is the context of story. To give you a bit of foundation of the season that I'm in.

So April 4th, Thurs 2024, I decided to go Brando Borntrager style, and go for a walk on the bridge. This has been my way to be intentional with my time with the Lord. A time where I can just listen to worship, and just re-align me heart. Sort of how a thermometer needed to be calibrated occasionally for an accurate reading. This is where I find God. So in thi walk, I felt strongly a couple of things the Lord was ministering to me. The Lord spoke to me and said

The Lord brought up this scripture to me, that was very interesting.

Matthew 22:37-40 (NASB)

36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and [a]foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 Upon these two commandments [b]hang the whole Law and the Prophets.”

Then the Lord emphasized to me,

"Do these things in Order".

I've connected this with the story of washing of feet that Jesus did for Peter.

John 13:7

Jesus says to peter "What I'm doing, you do not realize right now, but you will understand later."

and to paraphrase, I remember the picture instilled in my head was the reaction of Peter, as any other person would react if it was the King of Kings, Lord of Lords. Jesus, who am I to have you wash my feet? For I should be the one to be washing your feet of Master. and Jesus goes, "No Peter, you don't get it. If you don't let me wash your feet, you have no place with Me. " What I took from this is that Jesus was Example of servanthood, and he lead through example. He didn't delegate it, or verbal command them to do something. He physically modeled it.

What the Lord was showing me, was that the strength, answers, hope, ministrering, blessings, worries, etc, All stem of a place of Simon Peter. To have you take the time, sit down and allow the Lord to serve you. That in God giving you mana, that I'm able to Love my God with all my heart and sould and mind. That the by product is to love others as myself.

In otherwords, allow the Lord to Love you first deeply, so you may love others in the same manner.

That everything out of that, shall overflow empower and bring hope in other areas of Life. It isn't easy by anymeans, But what I find it does, is that

it actually changed the perspective and condition of my heart when I do things. From a attitude of "I have to worship and play bass for FOB" to "I GET to worship and play bass for FOB". from an entitled mindset, to a grateful, joyful mindset. Context is everything.

It seems as though, the more I give things over to the Lord, my trust tends to grow. Especially since lately, I feel like there has been so many walls and let downs, that I refuse to open certain doors to the Lord.

I got confronted with a specific word God gave me, when I decided to start breaking some soul ties of in my life regarding Jen. It actually came up instantly. When I denounced soul tie, I prayed to the Lord, What would you like to fullfill in replace of this soul tie I've had. What would you want me to put in replace of this part of my heart that has been wounded?. I heard and saw this word so vividly, but it was

"Trust"

That was so tough, because everything above, with all my concerns and future, it all just stemmed from a place of unbelief and mistrust in the Lord. It was confronting, but much needed to be reminded of.

It's funny how you see something like this, and I've litterally seen mountains and miracles move in my life, and yet it still does't fully suffice or fullfill the level trust i have i the Lord. Wow, its confronting, deep, and real. What would my life look like if I fully surrender the dark places in my life to the Lord. Probably Different. But what I can say is this.

David wasn't remembered by sin, But God affirmed him as man after His own heart. The Lord announced him King. God choosing to look beyond our sin and failure. Which brings me back to the scripture regarding what Jesus said to Peter.

"What I'm doing, you do not realize right now, but you will understand later."

I believe that when you allow the Lord to move in your life, there will come hurt, turmoil and pain. What I challenge, is instead of focusing on the affliction, and pointing the fingers at God for the pain, but to ask the Lord, what are you wanting to show me through all of stuff. Can you give me understanding on this. It's funny because it took me 5-8 years to come to peace with the things in my life. That Lord Jesus, "you didn't withhold, and take away cause your a jerk, but it was actually protection. Such a good word, especially from a premature baby like mysef lol..

This Picture hits now more than even 10 years ago.....



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